This post is more for me to look back at on another hard day...

I still have days when I grieve the loss of Kira, much like a death.  She was taken suddenly, only an hour and a half's notice.  She cried and pleaded as they took her away, and I'm sure I will never get over those scenes in my heart and mind.  Yesterday was one of those days that I carried the burden heavily.  But, praise the Lord, yesterday was also one of those days that God used His Word to bring comfort to me.  Jay has been preaching through Luke on Wednesday nights.  Last night he was in Luke 6 verses 20-26, the beatitudes.  Verse 22 says blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.  I have been hurt so badly by my circumstances that I forgot the true character of God.  He didn't promise a life here without pain, but he promises laughter in the future, in eternity.  

Psalm 126:5-6  Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!  He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

What a blessing!!  No doubt as a parent, I sow in tears...  I long for my children (all 10 of them) to hunger and thirst for righteousness.  I long for them to come to know Jesus as their Savior and Lord.  I have definitely weeped, boy have I ever...  And now I am awaiting the "shouts of joy".  

Galatians 6:9 says "And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Then...  today...  a friend posted on facebook a portion of her devotion from this morning.  It said this:  "Sometimes when our dreams of motherhood are shattered, we have to let them die and allow God to birth other dreams in our lives.  He is saying to us, 'When you are letting go, remember that I am planting seeds of new life in you.  Your grief is only for a season.  My end is not death.  It is always life.  I am the author of life."  
She then emailed the rest of the devotion to me and I want to share one more portion of it...
God has created women with a desire to nurture, but I think it goes much deeper than just having children. Most long to invest their lives in something that matters. Most of the time, that something is other people. The Bible calls that being fruitful. Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit,” (John 15:5). He also tells us that the true sign of a Christian is that he or she will bear fruit (John 15:8).
I'm very thankful today for the goodness of the Lord to me, even when I don't deserve it.  I am thankful that God created women to be weepy and emotional and nurturing and I pray that I will use those aspects to bring glory to my God.  I am thankful that God is the Author of Life.  I am thankful that even on the hard days, God's character doesn't change and his plan can't be shaken.  I'm thankful that we have God's word and that it is sufficient, alive, and powerful.  I'm thankful for weeping and sorrow, because without it, I wouldn't be able to fully appreciate laughter and joy.  I'm thankful for God's timing in all things, because without it, my life would be a train wreck!  

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